Eternal Perspective

I wish I was good at being a consistant blogger but I'm not, so please bare with me.

It would take me 17 blog posts to explain to you all the things that God has been teaching me lately, and I don't know if I can type that much so let me summarize.

To get a little background on how I've been feeling, just last week I had a conversation with a roommate about how I was in a very desert-like season in my walk with God. I did not feel His presence like I used to and doubts and temptations were really starting to get to me in this time. It was a horrible place to be and I desperately wanted out of it, but I did not know what I could do. I read the Bible and did my devotionals but I still couldn't feel God like I used to. I was so discouraged.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go on a free trip to Atlanta with Campus Crusade. Basically I thought all it was going to be was them convincing us to be on staff and I'd thought about what that would look like in the past but I was not considering it at all anymore. But hey, it was free and my best friends were going. I honestly had no expectations for God to work through this trip since I'd felt so far from him lately, but boy did He prove me wrong.

Friday night I realized this was going to be more than them just "convincing us to be on staff". The first talk was on our rights and expectations. As christians we should have two expectations in life:
1. Because he loves us, we can trust Him to provide for us and care for us
2. Because we live in a fallen world we will suffer and sacrifice and are called to yield our rights
I always found comfort in the first expectation but the second one got to me. He used the example of Jesus to compare this to. A very well known passage of scripture is Philippians 2:5-9. Through this scripture we can see just how many rights Jesus was willing to give up for us: the right to comfort, respect, honor, justice, to be understood, to live, and even to be in fellowship with his father. If Jesus gave all these rights up for us, how much should we be willing to give up for him. We cling to our rights of health, free time, recognition, respect, success, comfort, justice, and approval like they belong to us. But the truth is that they do not. This talk really brought back all the times I had thought about being in full-time ministry but ruled it our solely because of my "right" to have a regular salary, success, and approval of friends and family.

But my real amazing experience was on Saturday night. Every doubt I'd had in the past week about God orchestrating my life and being there for me was shattered. God showed up for me, big time. We had discussion groups all weekend and we were with our friends from our school but had a staff leader from another school. Michelle was our group leader and I'd never met her before but I know that God had put us together for a reason. The night's talk was on having an eternal perspective (easier said then done right?). But really it all comes down to looking at it this way, if all the eternity is a time line our life is barely a speck on this forever long line. Do you want to spend your life living it for the meaningless dot (yourself) or do you want to live it for the line (our creator and Lord)? I don't know about you, but I want my life to count for something bigger than me.

In our discussion groups after this talk we were asked what helps us have an eternal perspective in life. All that came to my mind was the sunday school answer of "reading our bible, spending time in prayer, and engaging in christian fellowship", so I said that answer. Michelle turned that completely around for me by saying that what gives her more perspective then anything is being "in the world but not of the world". Seeing how lost people are and how desperately they are searching for something to fill the void in their lives gives her more perspective then anything.

This completely humbled me. I was instantly convicted by how comfortable I was in my little christian circle I was. For a while our group discussed our problems in falling into christian bubbles, and some other girls said the nonchristian friends they had that they were praying for. I tried to think of nonchristians I was close to in life, and no one came to mind. At this point I am feeling horrible about how far I have removed myself from the lost who need God's love the most. Then Michelle begins to share a story with us, I don't remember why she even told us this long story but she did. Keep in mind she had no idea that I have an on campus job where I work with international students everyday.

Michelle's Story:
She began telling us about how she volunteered as a conversation partner one semester with an international student. It was a girl from a country in East Asia and I won't share her name for privacy reasons. All Michelle prayed was that she would have the opportunity to share the gospel with the girl before the semester was over. Turns out God knew better, their very first meeting the girl asked if Michelle was a Christian. Turns out she asked because she thought everyone in America was a "christian" and she actually had no idea what that term meant. Michelle got to tell her the gospel and her testimony in that very first meeting. The girl was an atheist and did not believe in God, nor did she change after the first time of hearing the gospel, but she continued to meet with Michelle for an hour a week every week. She would always ask all sorts of question about God, the bible, and religion. Six months later she told Michelle she was no longer an atheist and she did believe there was a god. Two years later she accepted Christ. She is currently considering going on staff with Campus Crusade even though she is graduating with a doctorate in engineering because she wants to help save her country. Michelle only prayed to be able to share the gospel with her once and God did this. Who are we to limit His power? Michelle gained a sister in Christ and a lifelong friend who joins her and her family for every Thanksgiving and Christmas.

By the end of this story I am in tears. Just minutes earlier I was feeling horrible about my lack of influence with nonbelievers. Michelle told this story and had no idea that I work with international students on campus as a job everyday, and I was currently in charge of organizing conversation partners for the semester. I was suddenly slapped in the face with God's presence. I know He brought me on that trip and in that discussion group for a reason. God reaffirmed everything He is doing in my life. Having a job at the English Language Institute has been growing my heart for international students all year and I have got to have an eternal perspective there. The 3 months these students are in America may be the only time that they will hear the gospel, and God may use me to share it with them. I hope that he does.

Since coming home my entire perspective on life has changed. We have got to take advantage of every moment. I have even more to say but I will save that for another post and leave you with this.

"Why, you do not know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this'"
James 4:14-15