more than we can ask or imagine...

As another year comes to a close, my junior year in college to be exact, I like to reflect on how God has blessed me in the past year. This year I was lucky enough that I don't even think I could count all the blessings I've received, and if I tried to put them all in a blogpost no one would ever read it because it would be so long. Instead I'd like to share with you all the "biggest" blessing, or at least the one that always comes to mind first, and that is the house.

Back in February/March of 2010 when trying to decide housing for next year we decided to look for a house to live in instead of an apartment. What we found was an 8 bedroom, 8 bathroom house that was pretty rough around the edges. It was dirty and gross at the time but we decided we wanted it anyway. We started trying to find 8 girls to fill it with us, which was nearly impossible, but at last we had 8. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about living with SEVEN other girls, who wouldn't be? And to top that, I barely knew more than the names of three of the girls.

It's safe to say that we moved in as strangers, literally, some girls met others for the first time the day they moved in. We quickly started getting to know each other and there were always other people over first semester. The house became a huge blessing for Cru at UT too because no matter what there was always room for more, unlike in an apartment we could have a movie night and no one had to be excluded. I remember the first party of the year the boys (and some girls) made a 5 story pyramid in the living room. We also held the Cru Halloween party there which had over 80 people and there was still room.

This displays how large our living room is

The Rave-o-ween

The real blessing wasnt the extra space or everyone having their own bedroom and bathroom or anything like that, the real blessing was the people. I knew it was going to be another hard semester for me because all of my closest friends were in dating relationships. When you're surrounded with that its hard to stay content and patient, but God gave me something I didn't even know I needed, single friends. I'd barely knew Allix and Beka before we moved in, but they quickly grew to become two of my best friends in that time and I am so thankful.

Beka and Allix

The second semester started and we hardly ever had people over at first, probably because all 8 of us had become such good friends that if I came home and any of my roommates were home I was perfectly happy with hanging out with them. All 8 girls that lived there did for a reason and it wouldn't have been the same without them. I'd lived with Amy, Misha, and Brittany before and I loved getting to live with them again. Amber was the house masseuse and counselor, you could just go lay on her bed and she'd give you a massage and some wise advice too. Victoria, Vix, Vixie, Vixen, etc. always served as the comedic relief, and there was never a dull moment when she was around. Beka became one of my closest friends and she was our beautician always willing to do anyone's hair or nails. And of course, Allix... She became my partner in crime, whether it was bumming rides off everyone or terrorizing Vix by "saying Jan in a midwestern accent" millions of times. The ninth roommate was a male (not casey or scott, sorry) but Dooley, our little poopface dog. Though he peed on my carpet, my bed, and myself he was always so fun to have around. Last but not least, #hashtag, yes that's our betafish's name. I wouldn't have traded any of them.

If only #hashtag made it in this one

The perfect group

Half the house has moved out now and its not what it was a month ago, but I think that anytime I look back on this year or college as a whole I will remember how blessed I was to live there and all the good memories we had together. Like I said we moved in as strangers, but now that we're all moving out those girls are like my sisters. I didn't even know that was something I needed, but God did and he blessed me with them. Next year is going to have a hard time topping this one.

Paintings for Project

Hey Friends :)

I am going on an Operations Summer Project this summer to Colorado! There I will basically work with Crusade staff in conference and event planning during the day, which is a great way to figure out if that is what I want to do long term. I have to raise support for this project like any other, but I know as college students we don't have a lot of money to spare.

So I thought of something else. I love painting! And people tend to ask me for them... So I decided to work on Paintings for Project. I will take requests for color schemes and verses, and then paint for you on a flat canvas. You can think of things based on some of my past paintings or ask for something new. I'm not an amazing painter though so don't get too crazy.

Here are some pictures of some old ones I've done:

A suggested donation for a painting is $20 (keeping in mind the cost of the canvas and paint)

Also, I am deactivating my facebook on Wednesday for 40 days SO please let me know if you'd like one through email, phone, or by commenting here!

Thanks guys! Have a blessed week and Spring break!

Decisions, Decisions...

In everyday life i am not the type to be indecisive, as many of you all know. I am actually demanding about what I want (not one of my best qualities, and my friends love to call me Damanda for it). However, when it comes to big decisions, and I mean the big ones that effect your life, I am super indecisive.

Which is why the fact that I finally decided what I am doing this summer is a big enough deal to blog about it.

I've decided to go on a Operations summer project with Campus Crusade to Fort Collins, Colorado. It is similar to other stateside summer projects except that as our job we intern alongside Crusade staff members in our areas of interest. For me that means that I will get to work and shadow staff members who work in conference and event planning. Since this is something I am strongly considering doing after I graduate this is an excellent way to see first hand what I would be doing. If you want to know any other details about it please ask but I'm sure I'll talk more about it in future blog posts.

Its scary deciding to do this because it means raising support (ekk!). The cost of the summer is $3200, which means that I cannot pay for it myself. It comes down to trusting that God will bring in the money and provide for where he has called me. I should get used to raising support though sometime because wanting to go into full time missions means I will have to do a lot of it. I had to realize that its more than just asking people for money for a trip, its asking them to partner with you and provide for you to share God's love and word with the world. I realize I am not going to a third world country or helping cure diseases and translate Bibles, but I am still doing God's work.

One way I've decided I will try and raise some support is to do Paintings for Project. I love painting anyway, and I always have people asking for some so I figure why not use that to raise some support. I know as college students we are all pretty poor, but I would love to do a painting for you as a gift for a donation to my summer. If you want more info let me know, but I'll write another blog specifically about that soon.

Until then please pray for my summer and the support raising process.

"For the LORD your God has blessed you in everything you have done. He has watched your every step through this great wilderness. During these forty years, the LORD your God has been with you, and you have lacked nothing."

Deuteronomy 2:7

What am I doing with my life? (Part 1)

That’s the big question isn’t it? What are you doing after graduation? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Questions like this keep getting thrown at me lately because the scary truth is that I’m only a year away from graduating college and moving into the real world. I have loved practically every moment of my college experience; it’s like living in this little bubble between childhood and adulthood, where you have all the freedom, but without all the responsibilities. It’s a time when most people discover who they really are and what they are passionate about. We spend this time studying and preparing for “the rest of our lives” so that we may go on to be great and successful. College sets the direction for where the rest of our lives will take us.

But in reality all eternity can be represented by a movie, and our life is one one screen shot of the entire movie, there is maybe one glimpse of our face in a crowd. The Bible says, “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:14) I want my life to count for the movie, not the one hundredth of a second that is my life. One of the things I see in college is all the worthless causes that our world stands for and how tempting it is to join them. I know that there is only one cause that is guaranteed to succeed and worth living for, and that’s Jesus Christ.

For many people this means serving God through their occupation and using the desires and gifts that God has given them, whether that’s being a teacher, doctor, politician, athlete, or anything else. But for me, I know that God has called me to a different path.

I believe God has given us our strengths, abilities, passions, and desires for a reason. He wants us to use them to serve him. It’s taken me a long time to realize this but in my life I don’t have many dominate passions or desires above just wanting to serve God. I never felt motivated to be a teacher, or to be in medicine, or to be a hugely successful businesswoman. Those things seemed okay to me, but never something I could see myself doing for my whole life.  I think that this is one of the reasons it took me so long to pick a major and that even now I don’t feel fully satisfied in it, because that is not what I am supposed to do.

Two things God has given me are a willing heart and a broken heart. One thing that moves and motivates me more than anything is hearing the stories of missionaries going out to the unreached people of the world. The biggest thing that breaks my heart is seeing all the millions of people that don’t know Jesus or that He is the only one that can satisfy them. I know that full time missions is what I want to do, maybe for the rest of my life, or maybe until God calls me into ministering in a workplace somewhere.

I’ve had this on my heart for a while now but some things always make me stop, and it’s the things I don’t want to give up and the things that I think I have a right to. I don’t want to give up my comfort or my desires for friendship, happiness, and the American dream. I don’t want to risk my health, my privacy, or my financial well-being. I want my family and all the other people in my life to approve of me and be proud of me; I want their recognition. I want stability, justice, and time. There are a lot of things I want and think that I deserve, but it’s a hard truth to learn when you realize that you don’t deserve any of that. Jesus never promised us that everything would be easy, comfortable, and what we expected. Jesus never called anyone to comfort, and he had to give up his rights too…

“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
and being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!”
Philippians 2:5-8

Jesus yielded his right to comfort, respect, honor, justice, to be understood, to live, and even to be in the perfect fellowship with God that He always had been. If He gave up all of this for us, how can I not give up my desire for comfort, approval, and a regular salary for Him?

I know I’ve said a lot of loaded decisions in this blog but its something I’ve been praying over and meditating on for over a year now. But in the end it still comes down to taking everything I’ve learned through this process, and taking a step of faith. Because after all, faith is not waiting until you are 100% sure.

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore to send out workers into his harvest field.’”
Matthew 9:36-38

God is the ultimate pursuer of our hearts.

Often times I am not a fan of the dreaded Valentine's Day holiday. For those of us single ladies the whole day and week surrounding it is a reminder of just how single we really are. I have never had a significant other at the time of Valentine's Day so I have never experienced it as that, but every year it has always been the dreaded day where it seems like everyone has someone but me.

But this year was different.

I felt so loved all day, some love from friends and from family, but mostly I felt loved by my Savior. All day I was happy and content and full of joy. There is no earthly explanation as to why either, which is why I know it was from above. All day I was reminded of his love for me, through the weather and even small blessings like hitting all green lights. Overall I just had a great feeling of peace all day that I know did not come from me considering it was on my least favorite day of the year.

The verse Psalms 29:11 comes to mind.

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

God really did give me more than enough strength and peace throughout the day. One of my friends said to me "you know Jesus is the ultimate pursuer of our hearts". And how true it is! No one else can satisfy us, comfort us, care for us more, or love us more than he can. Not only that, he is jealous for our love. He wants our attention and he wants our time. He wants the best for us because he love us. It didn't matter that I didn't have a boyfriend or valentine anymore, I had the ultimate lover. No one else could love me like Jesus could, He loved us enough to die for us. And the best part is that we can never lose it.

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38-39 (New Living Translation)